Friday, November 03, 2006

TGIF

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Good Morning! This is God! I will be handling all your problems today. I will not need your help...
So, have a good day! And don't worry or fret about a thing. I can handle anything....
nothings too hard for me.
~Author Unknown~

This is a day I need to focus on this ... I need to let Her take all of this over 'cause I just can't handle it. Last night, T had one of his major rants - no, tantrums! - about K being in my mom's room with her. I'm tired of him thinking we're in a dictatorship, I'm tired of him interpreting everything as being directed at him, I'm tired of K disregarding whatever's set for her ... I'm tired of it all. I wrote K a letter yesterday, expressing my concerns & disappointments & encouragements as I just don't want to talk about it anymore. It seems nothing changes her behavior, so why keep hitting my head against the proverbial brick wall? She's such a good kid but just can't or won't step up & work hard enough to accomplish even a little bit more. And Sunday she'll go to her dad's & catch up on tv shows he's taped for her, though he knows she's not to be watching tv. In T's perfect world, she'd not watch the shows ... I'm tired of feeling as though everything she does or I do is a disappointment to someone, particularly T.

My cousin's wife is worse. Blood clots, high temps ... and he's to start radiation himself soon. How wrong this all seems, how trivial it makes the stuff in my little world. I want to be able to take some of the burden from him, I want to help but no of no way except to be around for him, when he needs a shoulder.

*sigh*

It's Friday. Short work day. Last day of band-sitting. State contest tonight & my heart's not in it ... but, I'll go, I'll play my part, then I'll go home & retreat in sleep ...

1 comment:

Shelleen said...

Hang in there, things will work out. You aren't alone, sweetie.